When I first decided I was going to be a writer, I thought that the more I wrote, the easier this writing gig would become. And I continued to think this for quite a number of years.
Oh, what a fool I was.
In some ways, things have become easier. But in so many other ways, things have become harder. This last year in particular has been especially difficult. It's harder to be inspired. Harder to get the words down. Harder to edit. Harder to move forward.
It's taken me a long time to see this as a positive, but that's what I'm coming around to. It's harder for me to get inspired because I know if it's not something truly amazing, I won't put in the effort in. It's harder to get the words down because I now know how important each word is. It's harder to edit because I know I have to push myself to the breaking point to get the story I want. It's harder to move forward because I know how important it is to get it right.
These are all positives.
Some of you might be aware of the fact that I have 11 completed manuscripts to my name. Back when I was writing book 1 (in 2006!) I would have thought that by book 12 (which I'm currently working on) I'd be a pro. It would probably take me 4-6 weeks to smash out a first draft and then a couple of months to edit.
HA HA HA HA!
Truthfully, instead of becoming easier, they've become harder. A few years ago, I'd get a half-arsed idea for a book, leap into writing it without much planning, smash out a really quick draft, and think it was super awesome.
Spoiler Alert: They were never awesome.
Let's take 2010 for example. I always think of the year that I really started to grow as a writer. I also completed 5 manuscripts in this year alone. Yes, FIVE.
This might seem like a great feat, and they all helped me improve as a writer, but they were all far from being awesome.
Of those five books, two have been completely written off (although one of them does have a cool concept that I might use one day…). Another one was The Silagree which I spent most of last year editing (and I'm still not finished!). I also wrote the original version of The Opposite of Dead which I completely re-wrote last year, and Forever More, which I am currently in the process of totally re-writing.
Let me just sum up: 2 books were no good, 2 needed to be totally re-written, 1 needed a year of editing.
So, sure, maybe it was easier to get the part where I wrote THE END with these books, but what I was left with, was a total mess. I wasn't thinking about what I wanted to say with a particular story, what I wanted that story to be. I wasn't taking my time to think about what I was writing, and what I ended up with was an easy first draft that sucked. A lot.
Now I'm embracing the struggle to get a first draft done. It's harder, sure, but I am certain that the end product will be a lot closer to awesome.
Hopefully.
Who else is struggling through a first draft?
I AM STRUGGLING!
ReplyDeleteI do so love this post, Jade, because it's so, so true. Things don't get easier. Maybe the motions or knowing what step in the process comes easier. Knowing what it takes to keep me motivated gets easier (HELLLO coffee!), but that *actual* writing? Nah. Not easier.
And I suppose in some weird way, we can be grateful? Because it it was easier, would we try less? Would we become sloppy or lazy? Maybe this never gets easier thing is a blessing in disguise. We continue to grow and, as a result, become better writers.
At least, that is what I am going to tell myself!
Things don't get easier for me now because I know how much work it takes to really finish a book. Right now I'm researching Book #3 (Code: Having fun reading non-fiction and not having a daily word count), but I'm actually dreading opening up that new Word document.
ReplyDeleteBecause that means I have about another year of work before I'm happy with it.
It's a rough life we writers lead. I need large amounts of chocolate just thinking about it.
"the struggle to get a first draft done"...only writers understand those words!! The comments of others "soooo, you're not done with that same book?!" get so discouraging. Glad we all have each other when it gets harder! Keep at it!
ReplyDeleteMan, I'm always struggling. This is a great post, Jade. You're right. I've only written two novels (and stalled out on a third, which I may go back to someday), but I've written a dozen picture books. It never gets easier. My second novel (just finished the rough) is way messier than my first because with the first I edited myself as I went along. Everyone says that's the wrong way to do it, but what did I know back then?
ReplyDeleteTRUTH.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if it makes you feel better, it will start to get...not easier, exactly, but easier-ish. For me it goes in waves. I'll hit a point where it feels pretty smooth, then realize how much I have to learn, then it's struggle and frustration and holy-crap-how-do-I-fix-this, and then I hit another smooth point.
It's never easy. But it's not always a huge struggle. Does that make sense?
Jade I love your blog, this was an awesome post which basically articulated everything I've been feeling. I think that it getting easier is a misconception most people have, I know I had/have it. I'm confident that though it will never be a breeze eventually it may not be as hard. Hopefully. At least that's what I'm holding out for...
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness you've finished a LOT of drafts!! The one I finished over the weekend was technically the second book of mine to see THE END, and the first one is terrible. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI think writing can get harder because we know so much more now. We're pickier, we don't just throw ANYTHING down on paper, we THINK about it first. I feel like I'm "better" at it, though it may not be easier, if that makes any sense. Much closer to awesome now than anything I would have written five years ago. :)
Good luck!!!!