1. Wake up with a hang-over. What? You had really bad day at work. Don't judge.
2. Feel sorry for yourself. Now you have a sucky job AND a hang-over. Could life get any worse?
3. Listen to Jay-Z's 99 Problems. He's right. You might have a lot of problems but a bitch aint one.
4. Try to recall all the drunk emails you *may* have sent your writer friend. Remember, DON'T JUDGE.
5. Spend three hours at the hairdresser's. You may not have a readable book, but your hair looks damn fine.
6. Try to come up with a new story which you can write the cute boy from hairdresser's into. Because you really need ANOTHER story idea.
7. Stare at freshly printed manuscript. This is scientifically proven to reduce the number of pages.
8. Select a pen and highlighter for editing purposes. Change said pen and highlighter at least twelve times.
9. Write random lines from book on your leg in biro. This makes you look edgy and hot.
10. Play Jay-Z's 99 Problems again. Wonder what he and Beyonce will name their kid.
11. Wonder about this some more.
12. Google: pregnant Beyonce. Study pictures for scientific purposes.
13. Stare at untouched manuscript. REMEMBER, this is the only way to decrease the number of pages.
14. Let the pit of despair swallow you. At least your hair looks good.
15. Write a blog post about all the things you did today. Notice that "edit the shiz out of book" is not one of them.
16. Weep like only a writer can.
Oh man. I'm the worst about sending drunk emails, then blacking out, and forgetting I sent them.
ReplyDeleteShhh.
This is why I always leave my phone and laptop in my bedroom if I'm going to have a few glasses of wine! :D
ReplyDelete"Study pictures for scientific purposes" was the best part of this whole thing. I spewed my coffee.
Hope your head feels better! Try fast food and then a fruit smoothie.
"Stare at freshly printed manuscript. This is scientifically proven to reduce the number of pages." Lol
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to revise my book too, but mostly I'm just staring at it and not taking as hard-core an approach as you.
Uhh, good luck?
Heh. I kind of hoped you'd blog about this. But at least you have good hair! :)
ReplyDeleteUgh, I'm feeling a hangover coming on tomorrow. Today has been a crappy day so far. At least I'm only supposed to be drafting tomorrow, not revising. ;)
ReplyDeleteLOL, I do try not to drunk comment on people's blogs. Despite how funny I think I am at the time, my sober self would disagree.
haha this sounds all too familiar (minus the hairdresser and the cute guy ;))
ReplyDeleteThe Blog for wannabe author J.A. Coleman
Jade, have you been living in my head again? Except that you should never go to the hairdresser with a hangover. Or the dentist. Learned that the hard way...
ReplyDeleteHey, I got one! Don't order a bunch of books and wildlife specials online to make yourself feel better! Not that I did that...
ReplyDelete:-P
I understand your pain. I stil have a myriad of small things to fix on this edit before I turn it in on the 14th. *heaves deep, dramatic sigh*